I’m SO tired. And there is a bunch of stuff coming up I feel I can’t do by myself and, heck, I don’t Want to do by myself!
I’m 8 month into my build now and it’s catching up with me. I basically started financially exhausted and that state has now been joined by physical and mental depletion. A combination less desirable. It still amazes me what I keep manage to accomplish.
I’m 8 month into my build now and it’s catching up with me. I basically started financially exhausted and that state has now been joined by physical and mental depletion. A combination less desirable. It still amazes me what I keep manage to accomplish.
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On our way to the build site I usually stop at a regional Park to take Indi for a gentle 50 min walk. Earlier this week I was taken with the boohoos sitting in the car park sobbing and I was composing a mental S.O.S. e-mail calling for help with allsorts. This pressure has been building for weeks and also been a coming and going sensation over the months. But then isn’t this all part of the journey.
Thats same day I saw the energy going up again, the scale tipping, and creativity flowing again. Saying ‘Yes’ to every sensation, grudgingly at times, and doing my best to go with it all. To stop fighting and resisting what I’m experiencing is maybe a bigger challenge than building this house.
Thats same day I saw the energy going up again, the scale tipping, and creativity flowing again. Saying ‘Yes’ to every sensation, grudgingly at times, and doing my best to go with it all. To stop fighting and resisting what I’m experiencing is maybe a bigger challenge than building this house.
Oh and getting pissed off at waking up with an aching body and going to bed with the same is also just an experience. Is that what feeling alive is all about then? I’ll share my findings when I’ve found out what that one’s supposed to teach me. I don’t like how hard seemingly simple processes turn out to be and asking for help isn’t getting easier either. However I can’t imagine doing anything else, so I keep putting one foot in front of the other. And know it’s all going to work out. How do I know? Well it has so far! And most evenings I’m leaving the site feeling with a sense of accomplishment and love for the place.
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My friends Jan and Geoff started their own project of building a yurt the same time I started with my Kalina. A couple days ago Geoff helped me cutting and gluing the counter tops, I’m making from an old Hardwood table, in his workshop. We compared notes so to speak on the state of our beings and he said ‘yes it’s like running on vapors’ and I found that rather aptly put, that’s exactly what it feels like. My request which I thought of as very strait forward, being approached by Geoff from a carpenters view, was way more involved. On top of that it threw him a challenge. There was I feeling equally sorry for adding to his work load and reassured that it is not just I who’s experiencing these stupid little challenges where things should be plain sailing. Well in my humble opinion they should be.
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